Buckle Up, It’s Microwave Gate

Anyone who knows Matt Lougee knows one simple thing, most things in life work out for him. In fact the term “Lougee scam” has become synonymous for an outcome to a situation that clearly benefits him over anyone else. This could be attributed to a number of factors. For one, he could just be an incredibly lucky individual. I reference when he called a home run by Red Sox shortstop Xander Bogaerts, before the ball even left the pitchers hand. I won’t bore you with the myriad of other examples, but ask someone who knows him and a story will surely soon follow.

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Chalk it up to dumb luck if you’d like. Or the workings of something else, if you subscribe to that type of mindset but the writing is on the wall. However, there are some who don’t wish to entertain either of those ideologies and instead take the time to concoct conspiracy theories against him.

News broke Thursday night around 11:45 when it was brought to my attention that there may have been foul play with regard to the dice which were used during last summers latest installment of the “beer di tournament”. Beer di, or beer die for those unaware is a drinking game in which four red solo cups are placed at the four respected corners of a table. The object of the game is to toss one of the dice in the air and have it land on the table striking the opponents cup, or landing directly in the cup. Differentiating points are awarded for where and what the dice strikes.

The controversy lies in the handling of said dice. Back when Matt Lougee was in seventh grade he and a friend by the name of Ryan Burns were playing high/low with a set of dice. Mr. Lougee walked away from the game thirty dollars richer at Mr. Burns expense. In an attempt to assure victory, Mr. Lougee microwaved the dice in an albeit crude way to offer him the upper hand.

Now the question isn’t so much what happened in the past, but what has transpired in the three years that Mr. Lougee has commissioned his beer di tournaments.


When asked about the situation he responded calmly with “microwaving dice happened in middle school nothing has affected the beer die tournament, if anyone thinks I microwaved dice for the tournament, I did not. If they still think I did please tell me how that would be an advantage for me”. When asked if he truly had anything to do with the tampering of the dice he replied with, “Even if it did happen which it didn’t how does that alter the playing field? How would I gain an advantage? We could play the game with a rock and I’m still better then people”.

I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t reach out to Ryan Burns who was on the less than fortunate receiving end of the day in 7th grade. I asked him for a quote in relation to the day and Mr. Burns had this to say, “I can not all I know is Loug was beating me in dice all day and then we fought, I was just gonna say he put them in the microwave and somehow that helped him win I’m convinced”.

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Where things begin to get foggy is how a day 8 years ago can possibly correlate to an event that took place this past summer? To the best of my knowledge there were no complaints what so ever about the condition of the dice that were used throughout the tournament. Had someone complained about the dice midway through the day, it could be argued today that there’s a chance something peculiar about the dice had taken place. Not to mention that the dice used that day 8 years ago was to play an entirely different game than beer di.

At the moment there just isn’t enough evidence to convict Mr. Lougee of the crime. Which will come as a massive disappointment to most I’m sure. “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit”. That’s a reality we all must come to face today. Lougee scams are just that, dumb luck coupled with blind confidence. You live to see another day Mr. Lougee, but those dice will be placed under a microscope come this summer, that I am sure of.

What is truly criminal is the fact that Ryan Peterson diving for a di and bucking both of his teams beers off the table didn’t automatically DQ him from the tournament. If anything the rule book needs some addressing.


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