Somewhere in New Zealand, Steven Adams is laughing his ass off.
This past week has been a proverbial kick in the nuts for Draymond Green, as a photo of his man region was posted to his official Snapchat, Money23Green. If you want a more detailed explanation, I’m sure you could make a few Google searches if you’re into that kind of thing. I’m just glad this one hasn’t popped up on my Twitter feed yet, but knock on wood.
I’m not here to roast Draymond Green for sending the infamous “dick pic” on Snapchat, but where was this man when Herm Edwards gave that “don’t press send” speech? It’s not that hard to use Snapchat. All he had to do before he hit send was ask himself; “Is the girl I’m talking to named My Story? Hmm…,” and the problem would have been resolved very quickly. Instead, this man was clearly in the heat of the moment and had to get this thing out there quicker than Usain Bolt in the 100 meter dash.
It took about ten minutes for Green to realize his colossal error, and I can only imagine his reaction. Who do you think told him? Was he with his Olympic teammates and one of them was like, “hey you should check your snap story man”? Was he scrolling through Twitter and saw it staring back at him like a ghost from past? The world will never know. All we know is, it’s absolutely hilarious.
Perhaps the best part about all of this is the different stages in which Green handled this. Initially, he did the classic “I was hacked”. Right. If Bill Clinton had an affair with Monica Lewinsky in 2016 I’m sure that would be his excuse too. He realized very quickly that wasn’t the best approach, so he went the Dylan Sprouse route and made light of it. It’s like that SpongeBob episode when he realizes people are laughing at him instead of with him. Instead of being the joke, Draymond tried to be a part of the joke, which in some ways can work.
By far the most hilarious part of this is Draymond attempting to say that this will somehow make him a better basketball player:
I truly believe we all go through points in our life that help propel us to the next level. I’m at the stage right now where all this stuff will help propel me to the next level as a basketball player, but more importantly as a man. I don’t live my life with regrets. I apologize for the situation. It’s clearly not what I was trying to do. At the end of the day you have certain situations in your life that just help push you forward, and you have to use them the right way.
Yeah. Kinda like how getting chased at with a golf club by his wife made Tiger Woods a better golfer. Or how Brett Favre tore it up after his picture leaked. (Ok, I think Brett might have actually had a decent season after that, but it definitely wasn’t because a picture of his schlong got leaked). Anyways, the point is, scandals might not be that big of a deal, but I doubt this is going to be any source of motivation for Draymond. If anything, it will be a running joke for the entire NBA season. One thing, however, is for sure: Draymond Green will be extra careful next time he hits send.